Poetry

This semester I am in a creative writing class, which is so outside my comfort zone I cannot tell you. Surprisingly, I am so in love with this class! And even better I have been able to create a couple of poems myself:

The Bathtub

I feel lonely even when I am with you.

I feel unloved even when you kiss me.

Being with you was all I ever wanted,

Yet being with you was what hurt me.

 

As the morning birds chirp their melody

I stare into your greenish blue eyes

I know you will hurt me.

But I do not leave.

 

Like being in the bathtub

When the water is scorching hot

And the steam fills the bathroom,

But you do not get out.

 

Because you like the way it feels.

I liked the way you felt, but I

Should have left the bathtub

Sooner.

Sunshine Flowers

I only have my memories of you: the moon shining on the gaudy, maroon rug

I once despised, but now I realize I will never see that rug again. And the

tears begin to swell in my big brown eyes, you once loved.

 

The seeds of daffodils engrossed in the rich, brown soil will soon begin to flourish

and rows and rows of sunshine flowers will emerge. They will sway in the wind,

they will dance in the wind, they will love in the wind, they will be in the wind.

 

And they will be admired-by the hundreds of eager faces, hoping to have

a love like the sunshine flowers. But before long winter will come and freeze

over the beauty of the daffodils.

 

They will seize to sway, dance, love and be. No longer admired,

the hundreds of eager faces will grow sullen, hoping to

never have a love turn cold.

 

See, me and you are the daffodils we flourished, we swayed, we danced, and

we loved. As much we tried to escape it, winter came and our love disappeared.

But come next spring the sunshine flowers will be back.

 

Also the formatting on here is treacherous so I am not sure y’all will be able to see the stanza breaks, which probably upsets me more than you, but I tried so hard to get it to work. Nonetheless, I am excited to get inspired over spring break (hopefully Netflix binges and pizza will get the creative juices flowing).

Happy Blogging!

What is it like to be a Girl in a Sex-Obsessed Culture?

This post today was inspired by the documentary I recently watched called Sexy Baby. The documentary strives to answer the question I pose in the title (what is it like to be a girl in a sex-obsessed culture) and it becomes quite clear, although I’m sure we all already knew this: that it is really hard to be a girl in our culture (I am not negating how hard it is to be a boy in our culture, but the documentary focuses on females and frankly I am too). Sex is quite literally everywhere. It’s in advertising, it’s in music, it’s in conversations, it’s on social media, EVERYWHERE. But y’all already knew that.

Sexy Baby does show the struggles of being a young girl in a society that sends mixed messages about sex: women are sexual objects and at the same time women are not supposed to engage in sex and be virginal. It also shows the implications of sexual messages and porn being inflitrated into the main stream as one young women, Laura 22 engages in a vaginal cosmetic surgery-labiaplasty. Now I’m not sure if the documentary answers the question, but it has sparked my interest. From an early age young girls see images of racy, barely dressed models on the cover of magazines and in movies, unfortunately these images illustrate normalcy. These images imply that’s how we should dress and look like.

Now women are compared to porn stars. With the digital age it is obviously easier for every single pre-teen to access these images and porn, that shape their expectations of reality. Females are constructed strictly to sexual objects, this is portrayed through media and when half of our population is formulated in this way, we are taking away their agency, really. I mean boobs can’t vote. But of course the intelligent, informed female can (thanks to suffragists). I guess, what I am really trying to get at is that it is hard to criticize a young girl for dressing proactively when the majority of images she sees of other young girls and women are dressed in that way. And it’s hard to criticize a woman for hating her genitalia, when the multi-billion industry that is pornography is telling her that her vagina is ugly. If something else besides women’s sexuality was marketed and if young girls did not feel the need to show their bodies off to feel beautiful, well then I think we would all be much happier.

Miss Representation-Still an Issue

The above image, embodies the way women are portrayed in media. We have seen it time and time again-as in the documentary Miss Representation. After viewing this documentary I was very frustrated as I’m sure any woman or man would be. The way women are portrayed in the media, justifies the negative and unequal way women are treated as less than men. When women are portrayed as objects, such as beer bottles or whatever it is advertisers are trying to sell to men, that image is quite literally telling women, young girls, men and young boys that it is okay to treat women as objects, heck we don’t even think about it. Scantily clad women portrayed as beer bottles, shoes, burgers , etc., is normal to us. This is extremely frustrating to have women diminished to mere objects to satisfy the every whim and need of a man is a grave injustice.

Last week I was having lunch with a friend, and she was so convinced that feminism is merely about women, even after my many pleas that no feminism is so much more than that she still held her ground. Miss Representation shows that this is simply not true. Men are subject to portrayal in media that is simply not realistic. We all know that women are often airbrushed and photoshopped to appear younger and thinner and women and vulnerable young girls are held and hold themselves to this standard. However, men are also feeling the pressure to be fit and “hot” to be wanted. Eating disorders are not just a women’s issue as nothing in this world really is.

Moving forward, I hope there is a future in which women and men would not have to be held to these unattainable standards and that women would be treated with the same amount of respect as men this may seem like a tall order since this is the way our society has been functioning (it’s the only way I’ve known) but there are so many women and men bringing these issues to light. And fighting for an environment of equality and no misrepresentation.

2014 and the Misogyny in Advertisement has not gone away

The previous ad was aired for Valentino….to promote high fashion clothing or an extremely sexist, problematic attitude towards women. This extremely troubling ad mirrors an equally troubling ad from the “Mad Men era”. 

These two ads are extremely problematic, although one could argue the older ad was just a joke, the fact that there is an audience out there that would find this sort of thing funny is just as frustrating. The other thing that really bothers me is that these two ads are almost exactly alike-except for the year. It is 2014 and women are still being portrayed as non existent and these kinds of ads that perpetuate the attitude that women are not worth even treating them with dignity, wrongly justifies the inequalities women face. The Valentino ad romanticizes the violence against the woman in the pretty red dress, it makes the whole image sexy. The portrayal of women as rugs, made for walking all over and their only purpose is to serve men in whatever degrading way the can, is so damaging to women’s self identity. How are we supposed to teach young boys to treat women not only with respect but as their equals, that girls have the ability to do anything boys do. How are we supposed to instill these values when they are bombarded with images of the exact opposite message in media every single day. Conversely, how are we supposed to teach young girls that they are in fact equal to the boys in their class when they flip through magazines and see these sexist images such as the Valentino ad, where a man is LITERALLY stepping on a young women’s throat, in his $300 shoes of course. When young boys and girls, not only younger generations but older (as they are the ones putting such images out there) see images that project misogyny it is detrimental to their perceptions of male and female roles in society and relationships.

Stereotypes, Labels and Their Implications

Honor a novel by Elif Shafak confronts the stereotypes of Islam, more specifically honor killings and their role in Muslim families. The stereotype of Islam is radicalism: these few minority, radical Muslim groups have had the ability to taint a rather peaceful religion and to distort the view many individuals, particularly in Britain in the 70s and 80s (the setting of the majority of Honor), have of Muslim families. “The origins of Islamic radicalism in Western Europe can be traced to the 1970s and ’80s, when a number of Muslim dissidents, including some jihadi ideologues affiliated with violent offshoots of the Muslim Brotherhood, were forced to flee their home countries, such as Egypt and Syria, and arrived in Europe” (Mandaville). To further the conversation of stereotypes in regard to the novel Honor “In Britain the dislike of foreigners always catches me off guard…it is about how civilized you are” (Shafak). The British viewed Muslims (talking about the 1970s and 80s) as uncivilized considerably due to these few minority groups that have manipulated Islam to support their radical views, and due to honor killings. But the British’s perception of honor killings are all wrong, in this case. The reporting of the honor killing in the novel depicts it as a collective plan between male family members when in reality it was the doing of one individual.

The implications of stereotypes and labels are immensely damaging. All of Iskender’s life he was championed by his mother, Pembe would always call him sultan and he possessed a great deal of responsibility as being the eldest son after his father left to protect the family’s honor. Iskender’s reaction to being labeled as a Muslim immigrant, the eldest son, a “sultan”, handsome, a boxer, the responsibility of protecting their family’s honor was violent. His actions are not excused by how he was labeled or the pressure exerted on him, as it is shown his younger brother did not act in this way, but rather Shafak shows the implications of stereotypes and labels throughout the novel Honor.

Having it All – Myth or Reality?

When I consider the ideal picture of a future me I imagine a sophisticated, chic, put together lawyer- briefcase in one hand, Starbucks in the other and a happy, healthy baby on my hip. Having it all: career, loving partner, wonderful children the perfect family did I mention the perfect career? I’m not sure if this is a myth like many argue or an attainable goal. I do, however, know that this is often time how we are “supposed” to imagine our futures and even aspire to be. There are so many women I can think of that are portrayed this way: Victoria Beckham- fashion designer, mother of three and beloved wife, Angelina Jolie- actress, mother of five, six (how many kids does she have?) and wonderful wife and even fictional characters such as Sarah Jessica Parker’s role as a successful business women juggling her family life in the movie I Don’t Know How She Does It.

However this perfect wife, mother and business women is not successfully juggling her career and family life. She is often time portrayed as selfish, missing dinners, kids plays, dance recitals and little league games. As Sarah Jessica Parker was depicted in I Don’t Know How She Does It, she was sneered at by other mothers for missing PTA meetings not before long her perfect juggling act of PTA meetings, family dinners, dance recitals, business meetings and of course keeping her man happy fails. Oh but don’t fret, by the end of the movie she “leans in” and demands a flexible schedule from her boss and gets it. What about the women who if they “leaned in” (a term coined by Sheryl Sandberg) would get fired and end up in poverty if they were not there already.

The Devil Wears Prada and The Proposal are just two movies that portray women at the top of their careers as cold and insensitive. They cannot keep their husbands or they cannot even get married. They miss their children’s events and are absent parents or they do not have kids- essentially having no life outside of work. This portrayal of women as heartless and only concerned with their careers is disheartening to women every where juggling to keep a balanced work and family life or to not be seen as a cold, heartless, frankly mean boss. We have to change the way people think about women, particularly mothers in work. That’s the first step.

Abandoned

Abandoning unwanted or wanted children that women did not have the means to raise, was a particular issue in our history. However with family planning capabilities, such as birth control, abortions etc. the amount of new born babies abandoned has significantly decreased. Although this number has declined there are such instances when infants are left by their mothers, who feel they have no other option than to disregard their babies. The society we live in condemns and some instances prevents young woman from acquiring birth control or from receiving abortions (slut shaming) that these vulnerable women and young ladies feel they have no other option than to abandon their children. Giving one’s child away is so heart breaking, a young girl feeling that is her only option because there is no possible way for her to raise this child is an issue. If she had access to birth control or an abortion, her right to choose if she wants to be a mother or not, she would not feel forced to abandon her child.

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant (I think it’s because I’ve been exposed to so many articles and a documentary on reproductive rights). I was still a freshman in college and alone, I felt that the best option for me was to give my baby up for adoption, I do not recall actually giving birth, I think it was a cesarian surgery, but I do recall after I gave birth I got to hold my baby-it was a boy. I felt such a deep connection to this baby and then he was taken away from me. It felt like a part of me was stolen. I know I was dreaming and I’m aware that I probably sound crazy but I felt that pain-it’s undesirable how dream Nida felt it was just so heart breaking I woke up feeling genuinely sad and broken. Now imagine someone having to do this in real life. I had this dream for a reason I think it’s because now I have so much empathy for these young girls and women giving up their babies…and a part of themselves.

http://www.myjournalcourier.com/news/home_top-news-opinion_columns-opinon/50282559/The-search-for-reproductive-justice

“Girlfriend Intervention” Needs an Intervention

Lifetime’s new reality show Girlfriend Intervention is extremely flawed, from the racial stereotypes to the message that women need to change the way they look, an underlying theme in every makeover show, played off as empowerment. This reality show perpetuates the idea that women need to change the way they look to snag jobs, husbands, friends, respect and the list goes on and on; why are men not included in this or many other makeover shows? Why are men not held to the same standard of dressing well to even be considered for anything? As if the obvious sexism was not enough to make sure this reality show never aired, racism was also brought into the mix.

The characterization of black women and the sassy stereotype, if you will, is depicted through the four main characters: Tracy Balan, Nikki Chu, Tiffiny Dixon, and Tanisha Thomas. These four woman illustrate a characterization of African American women with every “mhmmm” and “sista”. It emphasizes the division between white women and black women, sustaining the view of “us” and “them”. The tagline of the show, “trapped inside of every white girl is a strong black woman ready to bust out”, preserves this view as well. The characterization of this strong, sassy, in your face black women, in comparison the white women is portrayed as drab, boring, needing all the help she can get seriously divides the women and highlights racial stereotypes.

Like many makeover shows Girlfriend Intervention conforms individuality to coincide to what the image of sexuality and how women should dress is. This show eternalizes the view that women should dress to please men, as “in the first episode, the target, Joanie, has a good-looking black husband, which the women make clear makes sloppy dressing a worse crime than it would be otherwise.” This idea is outdated and sexist, as with the racial stereotypes; isn’t time Girlfriend Intervention received a much needed intervention?

http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2014/08/27/343732090/lifetime-promises-to-bring-out-the-strong-black-woman-in-white-women